I just edited away my original post.
SOE changed the mail widow sometime very recently to 08/16/07. They added tabs to the window, so that all the mail flagged by the system as 'spam' goes to one separate tab.
The Fetish mail window is missing that tab, so the interm fix is to delete/rename eq2ui_mainhud_mail.xml, so that your client picks up the default (and new) mail file.