You have it almost right -- to make a macro for mercenary pull, use
/show_window MainHUD.Mercenary.Pull
(Pet window is similar: /show_window MainHUD.Pet.Pull)
To back off the merc prior to taking aggro, just hit the macro (or the pull button) again. This reapplies the protection states immediately instead of waiting for the backoff timer to expire. If you want to change the backoff timer from the default 5 seconds, there is a slidebar arrow on the pull bar that goes from 1 to 15 seconds. You can also drag the protection icons from the merc window onto a hotbar if you want to toggle them individually with the keyboard. Does any of that help?
And Pijotre has it right: Putting a generic macro delay back in (there used to be a way to do this years ago, but the developers took it out) would be a big red no-no.
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