well.. as i first tried to use an empty eq2ui.xml file and added whatever things i wanted to include he did load the default ui in the end, so this time i tried using your default fetish 9.5 eq2ui.xml & eq2ui_mainhud.xml files and it does work, except for 1 small thing:
loading screens and the character selection look like this:
http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/5774/uivq6.png
i know, ive had this before but cant remeber how i got rid of it sadly
but anyways: thanks on your help with this so far!